“Christina I swear to god if I had a gun I would fucking kill you right now.”
[bang bang motherfucka to you I'm dead]
Words spoken from the tongue of my BEST FRIEND. Words that when said were meant to tear me apart. “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”(1) Though these words never did hurt me, they’ve left questions in my head . Questions about anger, deceit, trust, and most importantly whether or not its worth it.
“Christina you’re a fucking bitch!”
[yeh, I know. Enlighten me as to what I don't]
See, I’m not a “bitch” I’m more sarcastic. People don’t like to be met with sarcasm because it doesn’t show that you care about them.
Caring the exact reason I chose to write this blog.
CARING. [to feel concern about]
Anyone who has been of some form of influence to me in anyway needs to realize that I care. I care more than you know, but I will not show it. I will not show it becuase I’m scared one may take my caring for my weakness. Perhaps me trying to hide the fact makes it an even bigger weakness.
I can come clean to my blog, and to all the anonymous readers out there. I do fucking care, more than you’ll ever know. I use sarcasm as the barrier to make me seem as though I don’t care. I don’t want to care, but I can’t stop doing so.
“Christina I fucking hate you!”
[If only you knew, I hate me too]
I hate that I want to cut my emotions out my soul, leave the space empty and not caring to fill it with a thing.
I’m a caring person who cares so much it scares me.
(1) Leo F. Buscaglia quotes
